Sunday, June 1, 2014

10 DISGUSTING THINGS I'VE DONE AS A MOM!

10 DISGUSTING THINGS I'VE DONE AS A MOM!


10 years ago if you would have told me that one day I would be purposely sniffing poop and touching gross things I would have laughed and called you crazy.  Fast forward a few years and I can safely say being a mom may just be the dirtiest job out there!

1) The diaper sniff test - You know when you smell something horrible and want to be 100% sure its your little one.  So you pick them up and get your nose real close.... Take a huge whiff and yup its your little one with the dirty diaper.

2) Snot arm - That gruesome moment when you are in the grocery store and your kid sneezes and has snot everywhere.  You search your purse to come up missing.  So of course you use your sleeve and keep shopping...  

3) Snot anyone - Speaking of snot lets name all the different ways to wipe it up.  No tissues, but hey I got an old receipt.  At a baseball game who is to say you can't wipe it on your hand then real quick rub it into the grass (the 5 second rule does apply here too right?)  Oh and I have been guilty of using the bottom of my kids shirts.  I mean sometimes I go shopping in a sleeveless shirt what am I suppose to do lol?!?!  Leaves, washable toy, dirty shirt I randomly find the car... And the list goes on

4) You put your hand where! - That horrible life altering moment when you see your kiddo threw something in the toilet and flushed.  You have .3 seconds to get to it or you are about to have one heck of a plumber bill.  So like some sort of demented super hero you lunge forward shove your hand in and pull it out!  Then you spend the next several minutes explaining why they can't play with said toy...  

5) Poop expert - My hubby just LOVES it when I take him into the bathroom to get his opinion on our boys poop color and texture.  These sort of things just need a 2nd opinion!   

6) The great catch - My oldest is a puker.  If we are out to eat and someone is eating something he doesn't like the smell of he starts to gag.  I'm not joking its really bad.  The thing is whenever he pukes instead of letting it hit the floor like a normal person, for some crazy unknown "mom" reason I reach out and try to catch it...  Why you may ask?!?!  I HAVE NO CLUE!  Its like some sort of crazy impulse to stop it from hitting the ground lol
Oh and lets not forget chewed up food.  My youngest likes the chew it up a bit before he decides he doesn't like it.  Lets not put it into a napkin, no I reach over and let him spit it into my hand.

7) Spit shine -  Ever been at the bus stop and realize your little guy has something on his face.  There is no time to run back home we will miss the bus.  When all else fails wet your finger and wipe away ;).  And for those really hard spots get the bottom of your shirt wet, consider it the mr . clean magic eraser of spit shinning. 

8) Finger lick - Since we are talking of the old fashion way to clean.  Have you ever lick something off your little ones fingers.  I NEVER lick food off my own fingers, but when they jam their finger into something then offer it to you like some sort of god given gift how can you turn them down!

9) Cry for no reason - I just packed up my youngest clothing to donate since he is moving up in size.  I held up a shirt he LOVES and wore a lot and bam for no reason I start crying!  I grab the thing and shove it into my own dresser like some sort of crazy cloth hoarder!  Who cries over a shirt!?!?!  I mean really just yesterday I used their shirt to remove snot now I'm crying over it?

10) Still sniffing - Since we started with sniffing lets finish with it.  My youngest is 87% potty trained we are still having accidents.  That means that every wet no matter how big or small has the potential of being pee.  The only way to tell is if you give it the sniff test!  Regardless its getting cleaned up, but the ocd in me insist that I know exactly what it is.  

Yes being a mom can be down right dirty sometimes, but I wouldn't change it for the world.  One day my little boys will be grown and I will look back on these gross moments and smile. <3

Tell me what gross acts have you committed as a parent?!?!

7 comments:

  1. I am not a parent so I have not had too many of these gross moments-except when I was watching friend's children! Hey--iy's life-what can you do?

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  2. ooh you just made my day! i do all of those things and embarassed about it i can't even write them. You put them exactly to words

    cheers to another fun Mom!

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  3. Such a cute post! Been there done that! The joys of being a MOM!

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  4. Hahaha! I can totally relate to this post! :)

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  5. LOL.. I have done a lot of those too! Good to know I'm not alone

    Michelle F>

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  6. I can totally relate to this post. ;)

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  7. Okay I don't miss any of this from when my boys were younger.

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