Monday, November 17, 2014

Why this mom HATES the get along shirt!

Why this mom HATES the get along shirt!

Very seldom do I rant on my blog.  I actually think this is the first time I have ever ranted on here.
I normally don't care enough to rant or if I do I take a different approach.
With that being said something has been annoying me for over a year now.  Last year I came across a company who was gushing over the Get Along Shirt.
For those of you who don't know what it is I drew a photo on paint.
(Yes I know the arms, head and everything else are a bit disproportional lol, an artist I am not.)

You are seeing correctly it is a photo of two kids forced to get into the same oversize shirt.
The shirt is suppose to make them suddenly get along...

Now let me tell you why I hate this.
It is a complete invasion of personal space.  Yes they may be kids, but personal space is still important.
As a kid my dad use to make my brother and I sit on the couch hugging each other whenever we got into a fight.  It never once taught us to get along all it did was humiliate us.

As a parent when I punish my kids it is not because I get enjoyment or a laugh from it.  Nor it is to humiliate them.  I punish my kids to teach them a lesson.  To try and show them something important in life.

As an adult if every time I fought with someone they came running at me with a shirt and told me "Lets put this on together so we can get along."  I would have them committed.

Maybe putting your kids in a shirt together and posting a photo of them on the internet is funny... To you...  But as a child who was forced to have her personal space invaded I can tell you this is not the right way.

Instead when our children fight we should give them the life skills on how to really deal with anger, being upset and not getting along.  In real life there is no get along shirt.

I would suggest first off removing them from each other and giving them a cool down time.
When I fight with my dad I normally walk away before I get mad and say something I can't take back.
I want to teach my kids this.  Teach them to calm down.  

Next when my kids are ready I want them to come back and talk about why they were upset.  I normally work as a mentor and help them work though it.

I know when my hubby and I fight if we step away and come back later we can look at it differently.
When you are calm and no longer mad it is easier to talk about it.

Next I have them come to an agreement.  Depending what they were fighting about.  I have them work together to come up with a fair solution.
This teaches them to solve issues on their own.

Life is full of compromising, it is something we can teach young.

Finally I have both of them apologize for whatever wrong they have done.

When we are in the wrong we need to learn how to say sorry.  

These are all things that we do as an adult.  All things my kids will benefit from.

Sometimes I do take things away, like if they are fighting over a certain toy or game and can't come up with a fair solution I remove the it.
In real life though if we act up we can have things taking away.
For example if I go down the highway driving 120 miles per hour, I'm pretty sure my driver license will be taken away.
Heck we can even get arrested for that, so I think it is safe to say grounding children will teach them a life lesson.

So far my punishments teach my kids how to deal with anger and work through issues.  I have also taught them real consequences for their behavior. 

What doesn't make sense is placing them in a shirt that invades their personal space.  
A shirt that humiliates them instead of teaches them on how to deal with feelings.
A shirt that doesn't teach them about real consequences. 

Okay so that is my rant!  If you are a parent who already uses the get along shirt, just think about how you would feel if you were mad at someone and than suddenly forced to share a shirt with them.



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