The World According to Rufus

The World According to Rufus

If my dog could write I think this would be the letter he would send me.
Dear mom,
There seems to be some confusion, I am writing you this letter to let you know the error of your ways.  
When you are napping on the couch and I jump on you it is because I have not seen you move in awhile I wanted to make sure you were okay....  

Yes I know I did it twice in two minutes, I like to be thorough.
Okay lets not fib, I just want cuddles.

Oh and you know when I am trying to chill out on the chair and you tell me I stink to get down.
(Which by the way mom is kinda rude)
I always assume it is because you want me to move to the couch..  And invite my buddy with me!
And speaking of my buddy, quit calling him UGLY it makes us want to cry.

Remember that narcissistic man (the vet) you took me to....  You know the one who called me fat and insisted I cut back on the junk.  Then you came home to look at my old puppy photos and said "Aww look how little you use to be before you got chubby..."
Yeah well just so you know the kids been helping me break that diet for months now!!  
I'm a growing boy ma!
The man lied when he said 60 pounds was to much for a puggle

Speaking of narcissistic people I don't know who convinced you that people come to the house to see you....  Clearly they are here for me

Well mom I have lots to do today so lets make the rest of this letter quick.  I'm pretty sure I missed a trash can in the bathroom who knows what treasures could lay within.... 

It is a well known fact that food always taste better from Emma's dish

Even better when she gives up hope and lets me have it all.

I don’t like dressing up for the holidays….  

This just isn’t cool mom

When I make this face it doesn’t mean I did something bad!!  

It is my way of trying to say “WHAT!!! THAT WASN'T ME!

I have myself convinced that if I can’t see you than you can’t see me.  
Which is why I turn away when try to call me over for medicine.
Pretty smart, huh?

Oh and when people come over and I insist on jumping on them its because I convinced myself that in the 2 days didn't see them that they died!!  Yes mom really!!  Once a day everyday I lose every friend I have. EVERY SINGLE ONE!!!
  So excuse me that once they walk through the door I am overwhelmed with joy that they are still alive.
It is kinda like we start our friendship all over again.

Last but not least mom I love you guys. 
You make thunderstorms less scary and walks with you are the highlight of my day.  You keep my water and food dish filled.  You give me silly nicknames.  Even when I am naughty and ruin your stuff I know it will still be okay.
You came to the farm that day and I was the last puppy in my litter.  I was all alone when my brothers and sisters got new homes, but you came and gave me a family. 
A family that hugs and play with me everyday, I never mind hugs even when they come with sticky muddy fingers.
Thank you mom for loving me as much as I love you.

Your naughty, stinky, ugly buddy having, 
perfectly fit, totally popular, selective hearing.
A.K.A. Piggy Poo