Monday, May 16, 2016

Mother & Son: The Respect Effort; author Dr. Emerson Eggrichs


"Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing a review copy of this book, opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.
Growing up my parents made many errors.  And I am not talking about little things, I am talking about things at as a 29 year old grown women they still keep me up at night.  I love my parents, but they really trashed my childhood.  When I became a mom it was my greatest fear that my kiddos would one day be in my shoes.  That my kiddos would know the fear I knew as a child.  That it would be my kiddos hiding in closets and under beds praying that I didn't find them when I was in one of my moods.   Again this was my childhood controlling yet again another part of my life.  
I am not that mom though, I broke the cycle and my kids greatest fear is I will make them eat veggies for dinner :).
Or I will forget to have a certain uniform washed (I am so guilty of this one)
My kids know love not fear.  Because of my fear though of being a bad mom I have a hard time finding that line.  I don't want to be to timid with my boys, but I do want them to learn respect.  I want them to grow up to be amazing, respectable men.
So books are my answer.  I don't have a childhood to look back on for advice so I need to read it from others.  Over the years I have gotten so much amazing advice between the pages of books and Dr. Emerson Eggrichs's book Mother & Son: The Respect Effort has made its way to the very top of my list.

Mother and Son: The Respect Effect
Love is important, but it is respect that is the key to your son’s heart. The idea of moms respecting their sons may sound alien to some, but it seems to ignite curiosity across the board. It is easy to relate to the need for all of us to feel a mother’s love, but is that the same thing as respect? Even for young boys, the effect of respect is nothing short of astounding when applied properly. Moms yearn to learn anything that better helps them with their sons. After all, they love their boys, but many find them more difficult to parent than their girls, especially from age four and up. What makes this all the more urgent is that moms are coaching fathers to love their daughters, but no one has said boo to moms on specific ways to show respect to their sons, at least not in a way that is applicable and fully explained. 
All realize that little girls need daddy’s love, but who is strongly promoting the truth that little boys (and big ones) need Mom's respect? No wonder mothers feel left in the dark on this topic. Just as Emerson Eggerichs transformed millions of marital relationships with a biblical understanding of love and respect, he now turns these principles to one of the most important relationships of all, a mother and her son.

My review:
I was left in the dark on this one.  I didn't see it growing up and my hubby isn't the best with words.  I love the man, but his answer to everything is "I dunno" lol
My boys are 5 and 8.  And sometimes I can tell I cross a line with them.  I normally back off right away, but this book better helps me to understand those lines.  To understand more what my boys need from me as mom.  My love of course, but also a level of respect.  I love how on page 7 the authors talks about how it is important to let our boys know we are proud of them.  If you look at this post of mine 10 Things Kids need to hear you will see from number 4 I already learned this lesson.  It is nice though to see it in a book and have it reaffirmed.  On page 27 I learned that maybe my boys don't like my "LOvey-dovey" talk.  To often Brandon Jr gets annoyed and starts to act out.  I can never figure out why so I get more MOMish, and he gets more angry.  I started to see that maybe being straight with him and not sugar coating stuff may be the better way to do things.  At his age maybe the lovey-dovey mom talk isn't the way to go anymore!
These are just 2 examples from the book.  It really does touch on a huge array of issues.  I think every mother or a son can relate.  After reading this book I personally walked away more confident in my relationship with my boys.  I of course am going to change quite a few things, but I am excited about these changes.  And my love for my boys make them easy changes :)

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